the first of the line is tied to a tree and the last is being eaten by the ants.

the accumulation of it all.
i breathed, but it took the atmosphere a bit to agree. i followed his deep footsteps in the snow every winter. everything in front of me is now sand and this is different from before because i am, too and he assured me he got something from it, too and the hardest thing about this is filtering what i really could take. if everyone's an asshole and every decision is ultimately selfish then it should be easier to follow this voice right now. it should be easier to straighten my weighted spine. the ones i affect and the affection toward me are dripping down the back of my throat and i am suppressing a gag reflex. the stain on the carpet just short of the bathroom floor and the way you tickled my neck make me think of how you love with just as small of an understanding of what love is as me, but at least you're trying. i would let the remnants of juvenile exile leak out my sides but i'm convinced you actually stabbed my back and maybe you lept forth, but i feel like this is the first time i've risen from the fall. lying down to this treason is the hardest thing i'll ever do, believe me. what's holy is whatever's here because it needs to be and blood is thicker than heaven anyway. i could be afflicted or i could be alive. but the tricky part is, i must be here. what's holy is the heat that flows in our veins.