ya se fue

i didn't push any buttons in the elevator, the man with the grey jacket did. there were no available computers so i climbed a flight of stairs. womb of sound, click-click, ding, a-hem-hem, muted roar of machine and man alike, pages turning, years crashing to an end. big clumsy one this was, big dumb heavy. the city outside (that one with the sirens) keeps letting blue warmth in depsite it being winter and all. i made it outside at the peak of it, thanks to 12 pills of varying levels of vita-eca-mushro-superpower standing between me and my head cold. mission is busy, love it busy like it always is, am part of it today. i'll wake up on the east coast any day now. i'd like it if the silver jews were there for me when i do. in the mean time: falling sunlight and long quiet walks and contimplating the second photograph and the next move and cooking for one and writing real small and greiving and being more alive than i know.