sleep train left me at the station

nerves are HOT man! i think it's a full moon. it's gotta be. i know it's at least a full SOLAR eclipse in china in approx. 2.5 hours. they are having an all night party at the observatory tonight and watching the broadcast from across the globe. i didn't go because i am moving out in the morning. where? yet to be determined. other good news on the home front is: i was offered a job today. i got the call when i was on the 38 downtown on my way to meet up with a friend from england. i will be cooking at this place come september. well, their new place. i am stoked. i am happy that i finally decided to bite the bullet and pursue one of my big passions. i feel blessed to get such a rad job with rad people in a rad city. maybe that is why i can't sleep tonight. i am so full. this week i am having one, two, three surprise visits of varying lengths from my golden ponies from all over. coffee with ducci yesterday; patrick is coming on monday for a week; maeg dive bombs in from portland on thursday for some tea adventures. and i can't even get into later visits or i will pee my pants. only one word can describe my state: whatever the hybrid of providence-gratefulness-bliss would be. who am i to call anything at any time insufficient? holy magic, at the very least. but never, ever not enough. it seems like a novel idea but attainable enough to celebrate a plethora of options rather than be cursed. i don't know why it has been so depressing to have potential homes on either end of this continent, or so painful to know that people like me and want me around. i guess i am just terrified of making a wrong choice or staying away from the right people for too long. afraid of disappointing people or ideals with my indecisiveness. it really simplifies the situation to categorise my emotions into either fear or bliss. ditch the former and party on with the latter dude!