i feel like it was made from things in the world inside my ribcage.
i started my job at a fancy french restaurant today. i will be doing reservations and barista-ing!
and i'm looking forward to the france family reunion 2K8 at lake tahoe next weekend! and my mom bringing me wardrobe relief as well!
and my brother is getting married!
and so is the rest of the world!
--edit, entitled 'que vale fe si no la tienes'--
what makes so many people immune to these natural laws of separation & attachment? it must be the most wonderful feeling in the world--after believing all your life that a third-party power would deliver your other half--to not only be joined with them, but to disregard the option of infidelity, breaking up, or divorce altogether. not to mention the possibility it's not the 'best' (now there's an interesting word) thing for your life path. but you survive. all because it wasn't your choice in the first place. all because you didn't do the paperwork, you just signed. that doesn't seem fair to me. i'm not being irrational here. work is the main part, yes, but the energy to work comes from a rooted belief. to have so much faith in a union, that even you cannot break it: that, to me, is appealing in a weird way. what if we all trusted so greatly in our current loves that it was an impossibility to leave them? maybe my faith is weak. i don't think things just happen. i think we ask for them, be it with our lips, our breath, our fibers. i feel we live our purpose, but our purpose is our choice. and you've really just got to believe for the whole process to work.
if you read this, take two minutes to respond. thoughts. analogies. any, all. please, thank you.
"but his word was in mine heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones, and i was weary with forbearing, and i could not stay." jeremiah 20:9
1 comment:
I think even unbreakable bonds are broken: maybe some not in action, but in substance: 50 year anniversaries are battleships, they are obelisks made of skulls, they are monstrosities: how many times can one person break your heart? Only you know.
I am far from the belief that a third power creates these unions that are meant to be eternal. I am suspicious of the stories about those who are immune to separation. I suspect that many of thos surface happy matches that I DON'T know the inner workings of share the same flaws and failures that the surface happy matches that I DO know intimately have. I don't think you faith is weak, probably your mind is just lucid. Is ignorance bliss? Another question entirely.
I don't know how to congratulate people on their marriages, and not seem to wince. I guess I am glad when they find someone they think they can love: that is a big deal to believe. But the lifetime commitment rings so hollow.
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