how baby girl got her bliss back

did you ever watch that movie 'how stella got her groove back'? well, i didn't. i think it was at least PG-13 and i was, tops, sixteen, so i probably wasn't allowed to. but for some reason that title popped into my head tonight as i was riding my bike home from work. and as revealed above, i'm buzzing. this sort of abnormal peace always seems to find me when i stop resisting. i feel like i'm in a dream-state. i believe i am in a dream state. the air in bocas right now is identical to how i remember austin texas this time last year. or even charlottesville. nothing in this world feels like it could contain me. or would even try. but at the same time, i want to give everything careful attention because thats what love does. don't get me wrong, nothing is perfect in my life. so to speak. but everything is right. i don't even feel extremely happy. but i could really easily if i wanted to. i just feel like i approve of it all. and i can feel my skin and my breath, and it's the same skin and breath as when i left philly. i just trust it more. it's really all anti-climactic for any remaining readers out there. the quest is no more (or it always has been). i'm not worried anymore, i just want to be where i want to be and i want to be with the people i love and who love me and know me and see me. the only difference is i am capable of participating this time. i've already said too much. see you in two weeks, america.