it´s easy to feel like being here is fake life. because there are parrots and geckos and the water is clear and caribbean people really do talk like that and this is obviously not my home. the thing about traveling and living in different places is the practice you get to be who you are, which is always changing, but for me getting a little bit clearer. it almosts asks me to be a tourist, just because how i automatically get treated, and the thrill of being in an exotic environment. but when i sit still for long enough, i can feel the intensity of this change in my life. just cutting out the bullshit and getting down to what matters, no matter where i am. i´m glad to be hanging out with the rastas here. we met jonatán at the farm he´s looking after today, ate some cacoa fruit, and hiked to the beach. i stood in the waves as he talking about babylon exploding and the vision and mama natura and growing all your food. "your only option hayde," he said, "is the mountains. as long as you know how to grow food, coco and plantains, you´re okay."
i completely agree with that. that´s just what makes sense to me at this point.
this is all very confusing and sort of intense. i can tell that it´s time for me to step up a bit to who i am. with my birthday coming soon, i am contimplating external changes to compliment what is going on inside. it feels like everything and nothing all at once.
every day is beautiful. things are good. my spirit is catching up with my body and i am slowly feeling here.
i and i ! forgive my descent into rasta enthusiasm...