let me have it all

a man spoke to me on the sidewalk yesterday. "can i get a cigarette?" i didn't process his request as directed toward me; i kept walking my bike with my right hand and smoking with the left. "thanks anyway..." i stopped at his sarcasm, a pang of guilt the catalyst for a humble offering: "oh, i can roll you one.." i almost immediately regretted my words, not because i had anywhere to be, but the cigarette in my left hand had a sad little sprinkling of the last of my pot. as i reached in my jacket pocket for the small tin box, i asked if he wanted to roll it himself. he declined, saying he'd like to see how i roll. "i've been rolling joints for years, i want to see how she does it." his friend with bright blue eyes chimed in, "do you know amanda staples?" i nodded; i had just come from her house. "she used to roll her own cigarettes." i dragged on mine, pulling the smoke into my chest and pursing my lips to release it to the south wind. i had now accepted this street interaction: the stranger with his feet against either side of my back tire, tobacco resting on the seat, a trail of smoke steadily leaving my fingers. the symmetrical movements of creasing the paper and breaking up the tobacco were momentarily meditative. i gave him more than i usually take for myself, assuming this guy was a bum and that he fit into an even further assumption that bums smoke more. plus, it was cold outside. he continued to comment in spite of my silence: on top brand and how good he thinks their tobacco is, on his impression of my rolling abilities, asking me where i get my tobacco. i licked the glue strip and sealed the cigarette, checking the job before i handed it over. the little creases on either end seem to be my trademark lately. he wanted an answer. "where do you buy your tobacco? up the street?" "no," i responded, "it was a gift." he proceeded to tell me where i could find large amounts of fine tobacco for cheap prices. i nodded, smiled a lot, and took off down frankford avenue. it could have been starting to rain. i don't really remember.